I was first exposed to pornography before I was even a teenager. I found it unintentionally when I was still in grade school and it, regrettably, sparked my curiosity. Curiosity led to regularity which led to addiction. I can honestly say that, after that, I had consistently viewed pornography all the way up until about sophomore year in high school. It held control in my life for six years, at the very least. Addiction is so powerful.
In high school I finally started to recognize its dangers and worked to weaken its hold on my life. Thankfully, people very close to me were willing to partner with me in order to help me overcome it. Have I been perfect since then? By no means. However, the decision that I made in high school has completely changed my life. I now have more power over pornography than pornography has on me. It is important to recognize, though, that this was not my own doing. The journey is as much a spiritual journey as it is a physical one. Success begins and ends with the miraculous sanctification we find in Christ.
If you are struggling with pornography:
- The most powerful thing that you can do is make a decision. Unless you commit, there is no possible way that the goal will be reached.
- Seek help. It is more than a personal journey – accountability is HUGE. Be honest, ask a friend, find online resources. (www.XXXChurch.com is a great one to check out)
- Set up a reward system. This one was huge for me. Set goals for yourself and, when (not if) you reach them, celebrate them!
- Pray/Remind yourself of truth. Spiritual transformation is a huge catalyst for life transformation. Remind yourself that your identity is not found in anything that this world can provide, but rather in Christ. Psalm 73:25-26 says, “Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire beside you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” We all fall short but God is bigger than our failures. As the psalmist declared, he truly is the strength of our heart.
If you’re a parent:
- Internet Filter Software is so vital but it’s not the only action that you can take.
- Be open about sex. I know it’s awkward at first but be honest with your kids about sex. Discuss sex and physical attraction with them from an early age. Our culture has changed and I truly believe that parents are one of the most effective combatants against our sex-crazed culture. Discuss the beauty and holiness of sex but ultimately create a safe place for your kids to ask questions and to be honest. (This article from The Gospel Coalition discusses this further: http://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/raising-kids-in-a-pornified-culture)
- Pray for your kids/Reinforce biblical truth. As stated earlier, spiritual transformation is a huge catalyst for life transformation. Your children need your spiritual reinforcement to frequently emphasize their need for Christ.
- Get to know your child’s friends. Proverbs 13:10 says, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” Getting to know who they hang out with is one of the many ways that you can continue to be an important part in their life. It also offers an insightful look into where your child is at spiritually.
Now I know it’s no secret that pornography is such a huge industry. As the influence of media increases in our lives, the influence of pornography stays particularly up-to-date. We all know it’s there but for some reason it seems to conceal itself with a thick layer of awkward. Obvious as it may seem, as long as we keep it buried, it will stay buried. My appeal to you is purely one of acknowledgement. Acknowledge that pornography exists. Acknowledge that those around you might be struggling with it. Acknowledge that you might be struggling with it. Acknowledge that you have the power to make a difference.
“Rejoice not over me, O my enemy;
when I fall, I shall rise;
when I sit in darkness,
the Lord will be a light to me.
I will bear the indignation of the Lord
because I have sinned against him,
until he pleads my cause
and executes judgment for me.
He will bring me out to the light;
I shall look upon his vindication [approval].”
- Micah 7:8-9
Will you take the step and join me on this journey?